In central Indiana, the weather is perfect approximately four days each year. On any one of these sunny days, Lafayette seems kinda like Santa Barbara, sans the Pacific Ocean. This was particularly true last weekend, when the temperate weather occurred while spring flowers were in bloom. These pleasant days offer a stark contrast to the 348 days of the Hoosier calendar when we complain it is too hot, too cold, too damp, too snowy or just too dreary.
When I woke last Saturday to “Santa Barbara Weather,” I committed myself to my first run since my return from a challenging twelve-day trip to Morocco. I wanted to get back into the swing of running. I put on black shorts and a white tank top and headed out the door around 11 am. As the 1980s pop tunes blared through my headphones, I actuated a pledge to practice self-care and engage in positive self-talk.
My running app—MapMyRun—had just informed me that I had completed one mile when the run turned south. As I passed a stand selling barbeque chicken, I tripped. I may have been distracted by the site--and the yummy smells--of this Midwestern culinary custom occurring in my neighborhood. Or, maybe, I was just tired, but, trip I did, and in a big way.
When I woke last Saturday to “Santa Barbara Weather,” I committed myself to my first run since my return from a challenging twelve-day trip to Morocco. I wanted to get back into the swing of running. I put on black shorts and a white tank top and headed out the door around 11 am. As the 1980s pop tunes blared through my headphones, I actuated a pledge to practice self-care and engage in positive self-talk.
My running app—MapMyRun—had just informed me that I had completed one mile when the run turned south. As I passed a stand selling barbeque chicken, I tripped. I may have been distracted by the site--and the yummy smells--of this Midwestern culinary custom occurring in my neighborhood. Or, maybe, I was just tired, but, trip I did, and in a big way.
I stumbled on a crack in the sidewalk and literally fell flat on my face. My right front tooth broke the fall, as my dentist will attest, since I have seen him twice this week to repair a large chip on it. I felt myself falling and couldn’t stop. In slow motion, I tried to right myself but kept heading downward, knowing as I did that the fall would end badly.
I was lucky that things were not worse. It turns out, I still have good reflexes, so the damage to my body was minimal, There are scrapes on my left hand and right knee, and my right shoulder hurts enough that I started a round of steroids today. The barbeque chef dodged traffic to come to my aid, and I convinced him I could walk home unassisted. My husband Mark just happened to pass by with the car two minutes later.
Once in the passenger seat of the car, I burst into tears, the big ones accompanied by gasping breaths for air. I was not in physical pain, though, yes, my white shirt had blood stains on it. I just felt old, fat, and ungainly. I had suffered what felt to me an ignominious setback. At forty-nine years old and seventy-five pounds heavier than I wanted to be, It seemed that I should no longer run. I used to be young and svelte, with a runner’s body and concomitant abilities, but now… As I explained all this to Mark, I burst into tears once again, the big ones accompanied by gasping breaths for air.
I was lucky that things were not worse. It turns out, I still have good reflexes, so the damage to my body was minimal, There are scrapes on my left hand and right knee, and my right shoulder hurts enough that I started a round of steroids today. The barbeque chef dodged traffic to come to my aid, and I convinced him I could walk home unassisted. My husband Mark just happened to pass by with the car two minutes later.
Once in the passenger seat of the car, I burst into tears, the big ones accompanied by gasping breaths for air. I was not in physical pain, though, yes, my white shirt had blood stains on it. I just felt old, fat, and ungainly. I had suffered what felt to me an ignominious setback. At forty-nine years old and seventy-five pounds heavier than I wanted to be, It seemed that I should no longer run. I used to be young and svelte, with a runner’s body and concomitant abilities, but now… As I explained all this to Mark, I burst into tears once again, the big ones accompanied by gasping breaths for air.
The lesson is that you should try not to overthink the implications of a Bad Fall. Instead, you just get up and move on. | In a perfect world, this is where the light from heaven shines down and I have a Very Good Insight into Life. Such has not been the case, even though that fall is seven days behind me. I have since been outside every day so as to get some exercise. Sunday and Monday I walked, because it was impossible to manipulate my arm enough to put on a sports bra. Tuesday, I forced myself to put the dratted thing on and just run so as to not let too much time pass before the next run. After all, I am set to race in Portsmouth on 11 June, less than two months away! But these activities were not accompanied by exultant thoughts about how I “got back on the horse” or “triumphed over adversity.” I got out the door only because physical inertia would lead me further down a dark path that ended at a place I did not want to be. So, the lesson, I guess, is that you should try not to overthink the implications of a Bad Fall. Instead, you just get up and move toward your goal. And, anyway, as my therapist noted, the shame I felt after falling last Saturday should not be something that I hold onto. My goal, after all, in committing myself to this blog is in part to Run Unashamed! |
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